shiny objects
I didn’t have to pick it up.
I knew this even at the time. There was a hint, an awareness of choice. But it was like a shiny object in my psyche, a dangling fish hook and I bit.
"Everything is either a skillful or unskillful attempt at love." - Christal Brown.
I also add to this that all action is a skillful or unskillful attempt at moving energy.
Energy moves, no matter what. Whether we move it out or in, whether we do it with or without grace.
As I was reflecting on this moment that hooked me, the moment where I chose to engage a frustration in an argumentative way, I realized at the core was an energy inside that was aching for movement. To not be stuck. The shiny object I bit down on was the habitual pattern. I knew it would move the energy. And in that small millisecond of choice habit overruled finding a different way.
It can often feel like our choices are either a big explosion or stuck. And there is a truth in that a current that has been tamped down over and over, for perhaps years, a lifetime, many lifetimes will eventually burst and erupt. With so much pressure it is often the only way the current can free itself. (The pathwork lecture The Spiritual meaning of Crisis addresses this.) The choice then in that situation is do we harden up in shame and blame, or do we soften and use our positive intent to redirect the current on a pathway we perhaps have never walked before?
But what about the small moments that lead to the big ones? Isn’t it true we have the same choices? There is a phrase; life begets life. That nothing is ever still. So we are either moving towards or away from our wholeness, healing and growth. Every choice moves us towards, or away, from an inner guidance and growth, from loved ones, community, our passions.
But what about pause? The beauty of a pause is it is not denying or shoving down or avoiding. It is quietly moving energy. It is moving our attention; let me see what is right here, in this room. It is moving our breath: let me take a breath with this. It is moving our body; what do I feel and sense in my body right now? It is moving our consciousness; what thoughts am I having right now? What wisdom may move me forward?
Sometimes we need to move larger and louder. I made a list in no particular order and with no hierarchy of good or bad of ways that energy can move.
Breath
Yell
Talk
Movement; dance, run, walk, swim, punch, jump, play sports, bike, ALL movement moves energy.
Laugh
Cry
Argue
Attack
Pray
Visit nature
Go to a party
Use screens
Cook
Drugs and alcohol
Drive
Write
Of course there are many many more ways…. And each one of these could have its own subcategories. We could punch a pillow or we could punch a person. We can watch something that helps us feel, or we could watch something that numbs us.
What is the INTENTION? Is it to move towards or away from your wholeness? Will the aftereffects cause you expansion or implosion?
Likely the next few weeks will be filled with moments where the shiny object dangles in front of you. Where you can pick up that habitual argument, that old pattern. Where you can move energy in that familiar way. Begin to notice- when do I bite down? When can I pause? What do I want to choose to do with my energy today? Because it is moving, no matter what, so why not give it a little nudge in the direction you want?