UNSPEAKABLE JOY
This picture was taken about 10 years ago. When I look back on it now I recall the fun and freedom of being creative with my friend and collaborator Jill Marie. I remember the overall joy as we picked our way through industrial North Portland. We were playing, getting into a little trouble, being silly, and allowing ourselves to shine through.
And I also know that at the time I judged myself. I know that when I saw pictures of myself the critic showed up. And I know I have spend far too much time listening to that voice.
I say to her in this picture- YES. Everything about it. I say to her- ENJOY your life. ENJOY your friend. You didn't know that soon Jill would move to another state and impromptu shoots would be much harder to arrange! Hindsight is clear as we know, and the older I get the more my hindsight says- do your best to be with it all, because life is not guaranteed- life truly is fleeting.
Today I offer another poem, and this is what it talks about; being radical enough to shine, open, listen, radiate, be present with what is, and love while we are still here and in a body. I hope you enjoy it.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Tracy
UNSPEAKABLE JOY
Succumbing to the unspeakable joy
of having a body-
For a moment, for a dance.
How I will miss this reach of the heart
when it is gone!
It feels rebellious and radical
to not shut this radiance up before it
gets out and spills itself in each heartbeat-
dripping with gratitude.
Everyday now I contemplate death-
so that each hitch of my
breath can be completed in the
deluge of love that is shaped
at the banks by loss.
Every drop of love
that racks my heart
carries the burden of endings.
Yet how else would I know the
sacred in each moment?
While the seeming solidness of structures
deceives me to think this could stretch on and on-
always there is the potential to
crack what I think is
never ending.
To rend my hubris
of assumption that
I will have time to love...later.
-words by tracy kate broyles 2021
-image Jill Marie 2010 ish
-